i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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