i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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