he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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