you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
