Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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