I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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