was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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