shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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