Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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