you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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