After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
