If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Let's paint friendship bongs
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
