i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize