So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize