the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
