Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
