So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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