and i looked up. we had an audience...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
COCAINE IS GR8
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
