I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
