Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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