____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
