Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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