Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
