I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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