can u get pink eye on your cock?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize