Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
