why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
