he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
