For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
This is the high leading the old right now
What changed your mind?
Being sober
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
