if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
