no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Randomize
