u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
