My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
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