Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I want her autograph on my taint
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
