Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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