ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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