in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
