from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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