Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize