I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
