can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
