I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Dear god my vagina.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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