belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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