I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
