names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
