I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
