You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
