would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
