the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
