hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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