The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
