You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
