I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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