He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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