i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
