her vagine was all disorganized.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
