how can u be prego again
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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