you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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