I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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