Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
