Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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