so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
My vagina is very pro this idea
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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