Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
