I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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