I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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