you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
