Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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